Can We Handle Disappointment?

Editor's note:  From March 2006

Disappoint:

1) to fail to satisfy the hopes or expectations of; leave unsatisfied

2) to undo or frustrate a  plan or intention; 

       balk ; thwart.

 

Disappointment….Life is full of them.

· Disappointment in ourselves when we fail,

· failing someone you love.

· Situations that don’t work out quite the way you expected it or intended it

· People that don’t live up to our expectations

· answers that don’t seem to come quick enough

· the general human condition

 

Some days are full of such disappointments and emotionally it is difficult to pull oneself out of the mud.  We wallow, we reflect, we beat ourselves and suddenly (or gradually) we make a choice to somehow shake ourselves loose to move on.  It is tiring to endure the emotions of disappointment especially when it is muddled with hurt and anger.  It gets crusty and difficult to clean off. 

Cleaning off can be a struggle.  Keeping oneself pure and unstained by the world is treated in the same way. 

Acknowledgement of the stain

Turning away and choosing repentance (if needed)

A choice to move on believing in the God that is able to right every wrong and cause the good to somehow blossom through all the pain.

We make a choice to get His perspective when ours is clouded and tainted by our emotions.  We make the choice to recognize God in our space and the space of the situation we are in…realizing that He is in control and knows and sees all. He loves us in and through our difficulties.  He is the only stable factor in this life full of disappointments…He changes not.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  There is no imperfection, inconsistency, or lack of judgment that is found in Him…His purity cuts through every form of deception, disillusionment and disappointment.  He IS reality and it is in His reality that we must strive to live in lest we get lost in this world that is always going to be full of pain, disappointment, trial and struggle.  He was here before the earth began and will remain when it all comes to an end.  This is the God we must choose to focus on…the God that is Love.

Love covers us.  It covers our failings.  It soothes the hurt and lifts our hearts up to hope and believe again.

A few nights before Christmas, we were at our dinner table and the children were asking us if they could just open one gift (for tradition’s sake…you know how the Bagby’s love traditions…ours just change from year to year….with our lifestyle, even our traditions have had to acquire flexibility….whoa…)  Well, dinner on the 23^rd, we decided that the children would be able to open one gift that they could begin utilizing…Michael had taken Moselle and Arielle to the store previously to buy each Bagby a pair of“Crocs”.  Crocs are ugly  (Michael says they are trendy and wears them for “style” rather than the comfort) rubber, comfortable clogs that are lightweight and functional (they look like gardening shoes).  There were sizes for all except for Moselle which didn’t seem to make a difference to her when they were out purchasing them together with their Father.  Aside from Michael, the rest of the Bagby’s were not all too thrilled with the  “Crocs”, but on this night, the 23^rd of December, Michael had the drum roll going before presenting each of us with our gifts.   After the tearing up and trying on, we all decided that we really did like this functional odd looking piece of equipment for our feet.  Well, in the middle of all of our excitement, Michael paused and grabbed Moselle a present for her to open….He had got her a hand made wooden painted sign with her name and a pair of cute flip flips (“slippas”) on it .  As we looked on, she opened her gift.  As she examined her gift, I could tell her face was very disappointed.  The table became silent as we realized that Moselle was feeling very left out of the Bagby “Croc” Fest we were apparently having without her.  The other kids asked her, “Ahhh, Moselle don’t you like your sign with your own slippers and name on it???  It is so nice!!!”

With all eyes on her, she tried to muster up a little smile, but you could see that her eyes were beginning to well up….The rest of us just looked at each other kind of wanting to laugh, but feeling bad just the same...

   Before we could say anymore, Moselle suddenly said, “OH, I got…. something in my eyes!!!” still attempting to muster a smile and rubbing her eyes..

As soon as I reached for her and said, “Ahhh, Moselle…..”, she burst into tears putting her whole face on me crying. 

She said, “I don’t have crocs….”

This little five year old trying to hold herself together and keep her disappointment to herself, but she caved in and acknowledged her feelings.  All of us just loved on her and Arielle let her know that she would be getting her crocs soon since her feet is growing fast. 

Later some of our friends heard of Moselle’s disappointment and found her some crocs of her own.  She was so happy and felt like she was so “in” and hip to be one of the Bagby Croc Crowd.

Her disappointment was replaced by love.

At times our disappointments turn into victory, when we have loved ones gather around us.  Sometimes, that is all it takes to drag us up from the mud of life, having people who care for us and express it in tangible ways.  I thank God for the friendships He has given to us to aid us through some of those moments.  I pray to be one who will “be there” for others in those times of their despair and disappointment and make a difference.  Laura